my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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