ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
