covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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