I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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