Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
