yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
