And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
where am i from again
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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