Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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