I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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