If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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