so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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