we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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