physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
