Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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