Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize