im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
