i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
