What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
