That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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