I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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