so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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