a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
