Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
