This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
