I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize