no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
