dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
