even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
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You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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