but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
