Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
