Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
