Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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