did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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