soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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