New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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