I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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