girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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