i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
