i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize