Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
