i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
