"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize