NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
