It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
