Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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