Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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