Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize