i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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