Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
