You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize