Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have fence marks all over my body
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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