Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
