Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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