If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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