Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
