Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
