I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize