halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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