I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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