He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
