and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
