Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
