how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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