Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
