OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
