it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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