You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize