He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
